Psychobabble

So therapists/psychologists/streetpersons always say there are the 5/9/14/whatever Stages of ________ that people go through, right? Well okay, I've been at this for over a month now, and if that doesn't qualify me to make the same assumptions that the ivory tower types have, well then I'll be an uncle farting on a monkey.

Stage One: Panic
What I'm I going to do what will I tell my friends what about my family oh no we'll be out in the streets come Monday morning what will this do to my credit score and chances of buying a new SUV in 4 years oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

Stage Two: Anger
Those jerkoffs got rid of me? Got rid of ME?! I hope they all die a painful flaming death in the flames of death, but not before the whole company collapses. Assholes!

Stage Three: Momentary Happiness
Well hey, I've deserved a vacation like this for years, might as well take advantage of it. Well, until my car payment is due next week anyhow.

Stage Four: Innovation
I think I'll start handbuilding custom lawnmowers to supplement my unemployment checks.

Stage Five: Reemergence of Panic
Oh shit are you serious I'm really still unemployed and without means of survival what am I going to do the neighbours are suspicious now because I check the mail every day at 1pm in my undies they'll call the cops tomorrow I just know it oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

Stage Six: Video Games
I haven't done a 14 hour Tekken marathon since I was in college!

Stage Seven: Education
I should probably go back to school or at least earn my Class A license so I can drive children to school.

Stage Eight: Content / New Job Found / Suicide
Fuckit.