The Responsible Choice

Sometime around the age of 17 I began sending out some college applications. Actually I may have only sent out one, I honestly can't remember, but either way I ended up going to a local state school, and I have momz to thank for footing that bill. I had never really planned on going on to higher learning, but had been told by numerous people that yes, I was indeed "college material," so I just assumed it was the right thing to do. It was around this same time that I realized that life was not free, so I decided to get up and find a job. Well okay, mostly it was the fact that I was tired of depending on automobiles owned by others to cart my arse around wherever it was I needed to go, but either way, jockeying a register and cleaning terlits at K-fuck was about all I was qualified for in the eyes of most employers, so hi-ho hi-ho, off to work I... went.

By the time I hit 18 I had kept the stupid high school job, owned a car I paid cash for ($1,200 + $700 in parts to make it awesome), and was an Average College Idiot. Did well in school, did okay at my job, and drank as much beer as possible whenever my responsibilities allowed the time required. At 19 I found something interesting to major in, and even started enjoying the learning aspect of college when I wasn't too busy drinking the above mentioned beer. Sometime around age 20 I grew weary of cleaning other people's public poop mistakes, and thankfully found myself working in one of those delightful office jobs that makes you fat but thankfully pays well and gives you the night and weekend to do whatever it was you wanted. 21 found me drinking the twice mentioned beer legally, therefore publicy as well.

I finished my Bachelor's degree at age 22 and started working fulltime at the same place I found 2 years prior. I was living with roommates by this time and quickly began enjoying The American Dream, which basically amounted to paying bills and buying toys with whatever was leftover at the end. Looking back I had few complaints really, blending into society didn't bother me in the least. I even owned two cars at one point, how American is that? Didn't buy a house, but I did run up some needless credit card debt to make sure that I at least fit in with my peers in that regard. 23 and 24 rolled by much like 22. Responsible living. Simplified life goals. Relatively happy.

It was not until I turned 25 that I realized the entire fucking game was rigged, and just how screwed most of mankind is. This was in 2004 when the US of A was too busy reelecting a dipshit leader and buying boats on borrowed time to bother paying attention to just how fucked we were all about to become. I began to realize the fallacy of Being Responsible, which doesn't get you much more than an impressive FICO score and a newish car to drive you to the job you hate every day of your life. I saw the flaws, but I was all talk and no action, so I continued playing the game of showing up to work and doing what I had to do to get by. At least around this time I started writing again and began playing music like never before. Even met a nice dame a few years later. 26, 27, 28, and 29 might have been enlightened in spirit, but this also involved a lot of anger toward numbers.

So now, at age 30, when after 13 years of being Mister Responsible Citizen, I realize what I squandered leading up until this point of over 9 months of uncertain future. One degree, one strong work history, one able body, and zero job offers. What was the point of everything leading up until the layoff? I'm not alone. There are many others. Come next month there will likely be a whole new wealth of Responsible People of varying talents that have little to no hope of even starting what they have worked for up until this point. Not that we need another scapegoat, but who is really to blame? The people in charge? The people at the bottom? Everyone else stuck in the middle? Wall Street? Housing? Alan Greenspan? Boom/bust economics? Human nature? Tulips? The car launched off the cliff in December 2007 and we have still yet to come to terms with what the problem actually was.