Well this got stupid a long time ago. Nobody pays attention to when I apply for a job, so unless it is simply a case of hundreds upon thousands of similar applicants flooding away at anything they see, I need to make some changes to hopefully pop out to anyone reading my (sometimes) ample qualifications. So, I have decided to include the following sentences peppered throughout my work and education history within my resume:
"Built up an alcohol tolerance of extraordinary magnitude."
"...getting the short end of the stick with an unexpected pink slip after being wooed to go work for a new company with my old boss."
"...making sure the dishes are cleaned before fiancée returns from work..."
"...driving all over Southern California in an attempt to launch music career that has little hope of succeeding..."
"...losing sanity over mundane existence."
I'm also considering inserting random swear words just for kicks. Let's see if anyone is paying attention, hmm?
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For that asbestos cleaning job, one of the days I was working it, I was working by myself so I had to file a work report detailing what I did (since it's hazardous materials after all) and I included at length a description where I was extremely worn out (it was all overtime on the weekend, non-business hours in the building, so the boss (working at a different site) told me go home and take a nap, and then come back), some quasi-Egyptianizing aside like (break in boring work report narrative) "and so thus having eaten my dinner of potatoes and beef and taken a nap for an hour and a half, I spake 'Behold! I have eaten my dinner of potatoes and beef and taken a nap for an hour and a half! Now I am to go out from my house that I may make the bathroom a safe, asbestos-free environment in the civic centre!' (resume boring work report narrative)"
I never heard a single word back about it.
hahaha awesome. I did something similar a few times shortly before quitting my job before last, though not as heroic. We had these stupid god damn endless forms to fill out with information about future jobs that nobody had any business predicting, so I answered "who cares" for many questions. Later on I met up with some old coworkers from that job and they said "yeah, we knew which jobs were yours because they said 'who cares' in the forms."
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